Style Psychology And Your Limiting Beliefs

Ramit Sethi, finance expert and author of I will teach you to be rich, talks about the idea of money psychology. He asks his audience to look inwardly and examine their preconceived thoughts and ideas about money in order to better understand the limiting beliefs that keep them from living the life they wish to live. This same principle can be applied towards personal style. What limiting beliefs about clothing are keeping you from feeling more confident in your own skin, dressing like your best self?

What are limiting beliefs?

Limiting beliefs are automatic and/or habitual thoughts that arise in our brains born from our insecurities and uncertainties and not from a place of logic, reasoning or intentional thinking. Often our thoughts go unnoticed because we are used to our own pattern of thinking. We know the neighbors there, the streets are familiar, it’s comfortable. Some of our beliefs about clothing, makeup and personal image as a whole have been ingrained since childhood. Many beliefs stay with us for years and if we don’t take the time to examine our thoughts, we may allow ourselves to continue on a path of unhelpful thinking.

If we can begin to recognize when our thoughts aren’t helpful or perhaps even damaging, we can seize the opportunity to challenge the thought or belief and take back control of our feelings and actions.

So what does all of this mean?

Personal style goes deeper than skin level; let’s call it style psychology. In order to build yourself a wardrobe that works well for you and your lifestyle, you must first be honest about the limiting beliefs and ideas that you might be holding onto about clothing and/or your closet. Limiting beliefs are a self-defeating mindset. If you build your wardrobe from a place of uncertainty or insecurity, ultimately this will lead you to feeling uncertain and insecure when it’s time to interact with your closet. Instead, let’s build a wardrobe that is based upon your true values, your unique personality and your lifestyle so that you will feel more confident and at your best more often. 

I’m going to show you how your limiting beliefs about clothing and style can contribute to an unhealthy cycle of harmful thoughts and behaviors, a decrease in your self-confidence and ultimately hold you back from creating your dream wardrobe.

Let me explain with a personal example.

For much of my adult life I have struggled with a shopping addiction and this led to an overflowing closet. For perspective, I think at the height of my spending I owned 30 pairs of denim alone, not including any other pants. I had acquired so much clothing that it became overwhelming to deal with. I had clothing stacked in piles on my bedroom floor because I couldn’t physically fit any more into my closet or dresser drawers. 

Some examples of my limiting beliefs at the time were:

• The more clothes I own, the better I will look and feel.

• I can’t be seen wearing an outfit more than once.

• People will like and accept me if I wear the newest trends.

• This new sweater will give me the dopamine boost I need right now.

• I will be happy when I find that perfect pair of jeans.

I was stuck in the mode of thinking that adding a shiny, new piece of clothing to my wardrobe was going to make me happy. The tricky part was that it did. For a short time. The truth was this short lived excitement was costing me big. I was going into debt.

These unhelpful thoughts went unchecked and contributed to the decline of my bank account, my confidence in my ability to manage my affairs as well as my mental health.

In the context of limiting beliefs, this idea that a piece of clothing or a new pair of shoes was going to change my life, encouraged me to buy more. Here’s the kicker—the more I bought, the more my personal style eluded me. Owning more items made it harder for me to narrow down my style and left me feeling not quite like myself in my outfits. In addition, having too many clothes made it frustratingly difficult for me to get dressed. Each time I needed to pick an outfit I would have to sift through a closet where hangers could no longer slide, fixed in their positions due to the sheer volume of fabric being stuffed into a confined space. 

When I began to take notice of my thoughts, I could plainly see how they were contributing to my shopping problem, and with a closet full of clothes, why I still couldn’t recognize my personal style. My problems stemmed from a lack of intention in my thinking and as a result, a lack of intention in my actions. I didn’t have a plan or articulate my goals for my wardrobe and therefore my shopping habits reflected my limiting beliefs rather than my values. Without a plan my brain defaulted back to it’s familiar and safe setting, the old pattern of thinking.

Intentional thinking is the enemy of limiting beliefs, in the best way. We interact with our closet on a daily basis, it’s an integral part of our lives and we have the power to control how it makes us feel and behave. Recognizing our limiting beliefs, through intentional thinking, allows us to take back control. 

I like to think of limiting beliefs as clouds passing overhead.

We can’t control how and when they come, but what we can do is spot them, determine their shape and size and then wave as they pass by. Managing our limiting beliefs shouldn’t be an effort to stop them from coming, but rather to recognize when they appear, observe their contents and then let them go on their merry way. See them for what they truly are, unhelpful thots ahem… thoughts. Once you’ve decided to take back control from your limiting beliefs you can then decide with clarity what you want your wardrobe and personal style to look like based on what truly matters to you. What could be better than owning a wardrobe that aligns with your values, your lifestyle and your signature personality? If you ask me… not much. 

I hope that from my example you can see how destructive limiting beliefs can be and how important it is for you to be aware of your own. The more you begin to recognize unhelpful thoughts as they appear, the more opportunities you will have to learn more about yourself and your process of thinking. I hope this discussion inspires you to re-examine the way in which you think, and not just about personal style. Recognizing and understanding our thoughts and beliefs is useful to us in all aspects of our day to day lives.

Stay tuned for next Friday’s post.

Thanks for reading.

Britt